Maybe it crept in slowly. A question you could not shake. A doctrine that stopped making sense. A prayer that felt like talking to the ceiling. Maybe it crashed in all at once. A tragedy, a betrayal, a piece of news that broke something inside you. However it happened, you have ended up here, not sure you believe what you used to believe. Not sure you believe much of anything.
The question that keeps you up at night is personal. As you wrestle with unsettling questions, your heart and mind are working out what you believe about God and God’s relationship with humankind and all of creation. This reflective work that you are doing is forming your theology (your belief or conception of God). Each question is valid. Each question in helpful. Is God going to give up on me? Am I wrong to wonder?
Doubt Isn’t the Enemy of Faith
Somewhere along the way, the church gave people the impression that faith means certainty. The message was that real Christians do not doubt, real Christians do not question, real Christians have it all figured out. That is not what scripture teaches. That is not what the saints lived. It is not what the reformers, including Luther, ever pretended.
Faith, in the Bible, is rarely tidy. Abraham and Sarah laughed at God’s promise. Moses argued. Job demanded an audience. The disciples misunderstood the point of nearly everything Jesus said until well after the resurrection. One of the most beautiful, most honest prayers in all of scripture comes from the mouth of a desperate father whose son was dying. He looked at Jesus and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief!”
Jacob’s Strange Blessing
One of the strangest stories in the Bible is the night Jacob wrestled with God. Genesis tells it almost as if it actually happened. Jacob, alone by a river, grabbed by a stranger in the dark, fighting until dawn. He does not lose. He does not exactly win, either. The stranger touches his hip and Jacob limps for the rest of his life.
Jacob still comes out of that night with a blessing and a new name. Israel which means “the one who wrestles with God”.
That is the name God gives the whole people of faith. Not “the certain ones.” Not “the doubtless ones.” The wrestlers. Faith, scripture seems to say, is something you grapple with, sometimes through the night, sometimes for years, and the wrestling itself is part of the relationship.
Faith Is a Gift, Not a Feat
Here is something Lutherans have always insisted on. Faith is not something you generate by trying harder. It is not a feeling you whip up with enough effort. Faith is a gift of the Holy Spirit, given to us, never earned, never manufactured, never maintained by our own willpower.
Your salvation, then, does not rest on the strength of your certainty. It rests on the finished work of Christ, given to you in baptism, given to you again at the Lord’s Table, given to you in the words spoken over you whether you can feel them landing or not. Christ holds you. Even when you are not sure how tightly you are holding back.
What This Means for You
If you are in a season of doubt, please hear this. You are not less of a Christian. You are not in danger of being thrown out. The God who held Jacob in the dark, who healed the son of a man with halfway faith, who waited patiently for Thomas to put his hand in the wound, that God is holding you, too.
Bring the doubt with you. Bring it to worship. Bring it to prayer. Bring it to a friend who can sit with hard questions. Do not wait until you have it all figured out before you come back to God. God is not waiting for you to figure it out. God is here, in the doubt, working in you the only way faith ever grows. Slowly. Honestly. Not on your timeline.
“I believe; help my unbelief” is not a failure of faith. It is one of the most faithful prayers a person can pray.
A Closing Prayer
Lord, we come to You with questions we cannot shake; doubts that have crept in slowly or crashed in all at once. Some of us are not sure what we believe anymore. And yet, here we are. Still turning toward You. Remind us that You are not afraid of our questions. That wrestling with doubt is not the opposite of faith, but can be one of the truest forms of it. When we wonder, “Is God going to give up on me?” reassure us. You are the God who stays with the struggling and never lets go. Hold us through our doubt, Lord. And let every question draw us closer to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.